I had thought I'd put it all behind me. For years, I never even thought about it. But the truth is, I just tucked it away into one of the dark recesses of my psyche.
It came back to light last year. A friend from the church I grew up in found me on Facebook and we became friends again. Then one day we were talking and the subject came up. And she mentioned watchdog.org and asked had I been to the site. I said no, and she mentioned he was on there. If you don't know what watcdog is, it's a website that lists all the registered sex offenders.
I just left it at that, but a week or so later my curiousity got the better of me. I went and looked him up. Turns out he lives closer to me than my parents do! After I moved out of the house, I've slowly moved my way farther north of Atlanta. I can now be in South Carolina in just under an hour.
But there he was, looking much the same as he did almost 30 years ago. His fiery red hair has turned grayish orange and he wears glasses now. But you can certainly tell it's him. It was weird to see his face. And also a tad upsetting that he didn't meet the end I wished for him in prison back then.
But it all came rushing back to me. I remember more than once lying in 7's bed crying and talking to her about it. I did a lot of crying in her bed......in her living room......in her car......in her kitchen. You see a pattern? Ha! Not that all the crying was sad in nature. Quite a bit of it involved tears of joy. I'm just an emotional, sensitive guy that's not afraid to wear my heart outside of my chest.
So the better part of my therapy has been dealing with this event, and all the issues it's caused over the years. And as I sit here writing this, getting ready to head to my usual Wednesday session on a Tuesday, I know it's getting better. I'm learning to put away the hate I feel, not just for him, but also the hate I felt towards myself and to those I felt didn't do their job of protecting me.
There's a LOT of work left to be done, so off I go with my lunchbox and hard hat...........